Are you uncomfortable and nervous about the idea of flirtingwith a man? Do you feel blocked even rigid with fear when you’re in thepresence of a man, fear that you might get rejected by him?
You may not be aware that your non-verbal is telling a man thatyou are unapproachable. He feels whether or not you are open to having aconversation that will flow with ease or whether it will be awkward. And thisdecision is made within seconds of seeing you.
I know it’s not fair but we are ALL guilty of the same thing…judgingpeople by their cover. Once you know that it’s not a personal thing but an automaticimpulse that is almost out of our control…then you get the courage to step upand become visible!
I remember feeling like the nerd in school…involved in everysocial activity but never had a boyfriend. And once my divorce happened, Ifound myself in the same predicament…I had to go back out in the dating sceneand get over my fears all over again. I was surprised at how insecure Ifelt…the courage I lacked.
The one thing that got me back in the game was my body language!And not just any kind of body language but the kind where I consciouslyflirted!
I wanted to be that charismatic woman that everyone noticed.I spent years being in the background with my ex-husband that it was time forme to shine. So first I looked up the meaning of flirting.
Here is what I found…
“Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone,but without serious intention; act amorously without serious intentions; playat love; coquet”
And when I asked men how they felt about women flirting…theyunanimously agreed that it IS a necessary skill in looking attractive. Theyactually felt like it was a compliment towards them!
So flirting really means taking an interest in someone…beingcurious about what motivates a man in a playful way. And when you set thatintension, then every body language technique you do is coming from a kindplace where it doesn’t feel like an interrogation.
A man doesn’t remember as much the words you use but how he feelsbeing around you. Throughout your encounter your body should move like oil…notension, no stiffness…just flow.
So how do you make this flow of your body language happen?
Become aware of these 3 flirting tips:
1) LEAN BACK
In any conversation with a man, it’s important to lean back inyour stance or in your chair. This action makes you naturally relax into theconvers ation. Leaning back takes away all tension in the body, where everymove or transition will feel like oil (nothing harsh…you melt into every body positionor self-touch).
2) UNZIP YOUR HEART
I learned this technique from my coach Rori Raye. It allowedme to go a level deeper in listening. If you can visualize yourself unzippingand exposing your heart. You’ve got it! It feels vulnerable but freeing at thesame time. You take down your guard while listening so that to remaincompassionate.
3) SELF-TOUCH
A woman that regularly touches herself gives the impression toa man that she is comfortable in her body…she loves how her body feels. So caressyour neck, your arm, your hair…anything that will make you relax into listeningand being in his presence while enjoying yourself.
Within seconds of doing these flirting techniques, men wouldsmile, move in towards me and feel the ease of being in my presence.
Patty Contenta
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