How to be a good lover

Most men will never have a torso like Jean-Claude van Damme, own a McLaren F1 or be able to recite Shakespeare's love sonnets. That's okay; because a few short steps can turn you into the sort of lover that will make your partner overlook these shortcomings.

Learn the art of sensual massage

Visit your local Body Shop outlet and display no hint of emotion as you buy some of their pricey but hugely useful Sensual Bath and Massage Oil. Or make up your own concoction of oils, including sandalwood, lemon grass, musk and lavender. You can use the essential oils in a burner, or mix it with carrier oil - sweet almond oil is fine - and use it as massage oil. A warning on massage: many blokes rub too hard. Try to rub more softly than you like to be rubbed. By all means work the back (never directly on the spine), shoulders, arms, buttocks and legs, but for a change, massage your partner's face and hands as well. Think of how stress builds up in your face, squinting at a monitor, traffic or dollar-rand exchange rates. It’s the same for her.

Make a special place for love

Yes, there are times for wild, impromptu couplings on your desk, the kitchen counter and car bonnet. But you're likely to rely on your bed as the backdrop for most of your lovemaking, so have a look at what's around it. The photo of your ex has to go, for a start. Ridding the room of clutter is paramount. Even if you don't go for the Scandinavian minimalist look, at least get rid of those all those dusty copies of National Geographic on the bedside table. Some wind chimes, subtle incense can do nicely, and an indoor water feature might be fun. Switch off all phones and the door bell.

Appeal to all the senses

We already mentioned incense. If the sound of the neighbour saying "Lekker-like-a-cracker" (for the 47th time) while he cleans his new swimming pool irks you, maybe it's time to buy a new house, or at least to block out the banality with some white noise courtesy of a fan or a water feature. Dispense with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD in favour of something earthier. Some lovers swear by CDs containing only the sound of the crashing sea. Try laying on some food and wine. Strawberries sound clichéd, but when they're small and sweet, late in the season, there are few items that size that are sexier. And they'll leave no doubt about your dishonourable intentions.

Get into shape

Yes, of course you need to work on your abs, but you don't need to win any body-building contests - most women prefer a man with a finely muscled, defined body, especially if he's not obsessive about it. Obsession is fine, as long as it’s in a bottle, not in your head. Regular exercise, not to mention soap and water, ought to suffice. There are some blokes who compensate for being fat by packing on muscle. This only works if you're a Hell's Angel. Forget about seeing your biceps in the mirror and concentrate on shared pleasure.

Learn a bit about tantric sex

No need to paint a dot on your forehead and change your name to Rama Yama Dang Ban. If you learn one trick, make it this one. Spend a long time on devoted foreplay. Then start with shallow thrusting, no more than an inch inside her. Do ten of these, then have one deep, firm thrust. Now work your way back, eight shallow and one deep, seven shallow and one deep ... you get the picture. By the time you get to the end of the cycle, she may want to name a street, town or province after you.

By William Smook

5 Ways to Love the Woman You Married

Listen to Your Wife

Do you listen to what your wife is saying? You listen to your boss when he is rambling on, don’t you? You listen to your naïve buddies tell you all kinds of things that don’t really matter in life, don’t you? Well then, why aren’t you listening to your wife? Start really hearing what she has to say and be supportive of her feelings and opinions. That means, opening up your ears and being perceptive to your wife’s needs.

Appreciate Your Wife

When was the last time you told your wife how much you really appreciate her and all the things she does? A woman puts out a lot more energy into the home and family affairs than the husband does. Sometimes she may feel as if she is the only one doing anything around the house and this is when she starts getting bossy and naggy with you.

I encourage you husband’s to start appreciating your wife for all that she does for you and the family. Marriage can be such a beautiful relationship when you show your love with wisdom. Stop just for a moment, and mediate on the beautiful woman you married. Be thankful that God gave her to you. Realize how blessed you are to have this woman as your wife and know that she is your right arm and sometimes your left arm too. Make your wife feel good about who she is and all that she does.

Please Your Wife Sexually

There is a difference between having sex and making love. Sex is a one sided selfish act that is mostly enjoyed by the husband. Women need a bit more pampering and nurturing in the bedroom. I mean, what does a woman get out of five minutes of copulation? Okay, so it takes a little bit more time to please your wife and you’re tired, so make love in the afternoon or early morning. You do have options. Love your wife with wisdom and start pleasing the woman you married.

Be More Helpful

Be more helpful by “asking” your wife if there is anything she needs you to do around the house, in the kitchen, or in the yard. For instance, she isn’t the only one who eats dinner you know. Maybe she would like some help chopping up vegetables, setting the table, or loading the dishwasher. She probably has mowed your yard for you, so give back in return and do some extra things for her around the house. She will be pleased that you did.

Be the Man of the House

Be her man and she’ll want to be your woman. Did you know that your wife becomes bossy and domineering because you are not listening to her? She feels unloved and unneeded by you when you take her for granted instead of appreciating all that she does for you and the family? A woman needs to be valued by her husband. This gives her more love to give to you.

If you want a humble and kind wife then don’t behave as if you are better than her. Share your feelings with your wife and get close with her. Don’t be afraid to let down your guard once in awhile. If you have emotions that are not getting met, talk to your wife about it. A wife wants to be there for her husband but if you don’t let your wife in, how can she help?

If you want a feminine, humble and kind wife, then don’t try and control her to be what you want her to be. She needs to be her own person. What you can do though, is control yourself to behave a certain way that makes your wife want to submit to your loving influence. Be a good example and she will want to surrender her love to that example. Love your wife with wisdom.

By Angie Lewis

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