All relationships involve some conflict. Sometimes this eveninvolves open arguments and fights. At times, there is also an atmosphere ofunspoken dissatisfaction and tension. The point is, no two people are exactlythe same, so disagreements are inevitable. Our differences and disagreementscan enrich our lives. Learning to deal with conflict is not only useful, butcan teach us a lot about our partners and ourselves.
The first step in resolving an argument is to identify theproblem from both partners’ perspectives. Unless you agree on what the problemis, you will not know what you are trying to resolve. It is also wise to stickto the issue at hand, do not raise side issues.
The second step is to be clear about how your partner feelabout the problem and to express this. You and your partner should listencarefully to each other, remembering to respect each other’s feelings andviews.
The third step is to work out whether the problem is one ofdiffering values, beliefs and attitudes, or a practical issue. If differentvalues and beliefs are at the root of the problem, both partners will need tobe especially tolerant and patient. You will have to accept these differencesand respect that each one has the right to have their own views. It can also bethat at the end you will agree to disagree! When the problem is a practicalone, it can be a lot easier – both partners should all possible solutions tothe problem. Once you have settled on a solution, both partners need to committhemselves to try it out.
Here are some helpful tips in solving problems and tips:
- avoid confusing the real issue by bringing up oldcomplaints of the past
- do not insult or humiliate your partner
-Avoid delaying tactics
- avoid manipulating your partner
Successfully resolving conflict usually gives both partnersa great sense of satisfaction and brings them closer together.
.jpg)
